One toxic factor that can ruin any friendship, no matter how long you’ve been friends, is jealousy. Jealous friends are often driven by insecurity, fear, or anger. They are also caused by low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.
Society often compares friends based on their career, which can instill this sense of jealousy in the less successful. If the jealousy is openly expressed, it can be addressed by having a hearty conversation or being more cautious. The problem arises when someone acts jealously under the veil of friendship. The consequences can affect the lives of both parties mentally and further deteriorate the friendship.
Therefore, it is essential to identify the cause and address the problem. So, how can you tell if your boyfriend is jealous of you? Read more.
8 Signs of a Jealous Boyfriend
Admiring the success of others is described as positive jealousy that helps us achieve something for ourselves as well. On the other hand, jealousy crops up when a toxic friend doesn’t appreciate your success or happiness and tries to ruin it.
For example, you share a new achievement or give a preview of your upcoming trip, and your friend shrugs. Such signs and indications can help you understand their intentions, and they can envy you. Here are a few other behavioral patterns they may give up:
1. Greeting good news with a negative approach
It can often happen that you have been successful in your field and want to share this with your best friend. Instead of congratulating you, the friend may point out the possible negative results of the achievement. They might even acknowledge and congratulate you in a way that may sound off-key.
2. It’s all about them
A jealous friend will never listen to you and your stories. Instead, they wait for you to make a statement and in between with their story. In a perfect conversation, one can respond to the other and empathy develops between the two. But in the case of a poisonous friend, everything will revolve around them alone.
3. They don’t support you
Your jealous friend will never support you in your pursuit, be it a job, a relationship, or any other achievement. They may even hurt you with their sharp words and discourage you about your achievement. Stop before you drown!
4. They secretly copy you
You may not notice it, but your boyfriend is secretly imitating you. Competition arises when your best friend (so-called) copies you and mirrors your dress style or perhaps mimics your speech.
5. They make you feel bad about yourself
An unwilling friend can make you feel like you’re incompetent, even if you’ve succeeded. However you feel about your success, if your close friend disapproves of you, you will not enjoy it to the fullest. A friend may also be jealous of you and not show it for you. They stir up negativity in you, which makes you feel bad about yourself.
6. They struggle with uncertainty
Your boyfriend becomes affectionate, especially when you make new friends. They start blaming your new friends for everything that goes wrong, criticizing you and trying to isolate you from others. Toxic people often become insecure and feel like they are being replaced. They suffer from an inferiority complex, which arouses jealousy.
7. They often lie to get sympathy
Toxic and jealous friends always have a fixed story in the back of their minds. They may even make up instant stories to escape a situation and lie to gain your sympathy. They are insecure beings who are also unsure of their ego.
8. They may be trying to outdo you
A jealous friend may try to replace you and outdo you whenever they can. You buy a car and they will try to catch up with you by buying an upgraded model of the same car.
Jealousy can persist between friends and even develop over time. If you notice the above signs of jealousy in your friend, try to identify the differences that may have developed between you. Instead of portraying your friend as a villain, focus on saving your friendship. Skip to the next section for ways to address this issue.
How to deal with jealous friends
Even if your friend’s behavior annoys you, make sure your precious friendship isn’t destroyed for stupid reasons. The way you start the conversation makes a huge difference in the status of your relationship with your boyfriend. You can go through the following steps to deal with your jealous boyfriend:
1. Respond constructively
Friends with uncertainty need constant support and compassion. It helps if you do everything you can to solve the problem. Initially, reduce your friend’s bad behavior and insecurity and respond in a constructive manner where your intentions should be clear and specific.
2. Comfort your friends, but don’t let yourself down
You should both take the initiative to improve your relationship. You can share the news of your success, but be careful not to hurt your friend or bring negativity into the discussion. Jealousy is unfair in friendship, and instead of blaming each other, comfort your friend and understand the nature of your relationship. It will not only boost your friend’s confidence but also improve the relationship.
3. Jealousy must be healthy
Jealousy can be healthy in a few cases, but fighting or avoiding each other can cause toxicity. So focus on building a healthy relationship with your boyfriend and get rid of any toxic jealousy.
4. Identify your friend’s achievements and strengths
You can smooth out the situation by balancing the scales. Praise your friend for their work and achievements as often as you expect appreciation from them. They should not feel intimidated by your achievements or afraid of being replaced by someone else in your life. It applies to new friends as well as to a love interest.
5. Confront the Feelings
Talk to your friend and vent your feelings, as silence will only make the situation worse. You should also assure your friend that no one can ever replace him and that his position in your life is intact.
That said, envy can sometimes prove to be a confidence booster and empowerment to achieve better things. Unless jealousy is the driving force behind your friendship, you should have faith in your friend and let things take their course. You can practice gratitude and coping techniques to deal with any incidents that are disrupting your mental peace. However, if nothing works, don’t shy away from isolating yourself from the green-eyed friend for your own recovery.
Infographic: Jealous Friends
Check out the following infographic to understand why your friend is acting strangely towards you. It emphasises:
- The reasons why your boyfriend is jealous of you
- How to solve this problem and make it up to your friend
- How to spot the red flags in a friendship
- The difference between good and toxic friends
These points will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your friends.
Friends should always be encouraging and supportive. They should rejoice in your achievement as if it were their own, growing alongside you. Unfortunately, jealous friends do exist and you need to know how to deal with them. The first step is to identify the signs of jealousy, such as making you feel bad about yourself or turning negative things into good news. If your friend is overtly jealous, you can help resolve those feelings with open and empathetic communication. However, if it is in the form of harmful actions that threaten you, you may want to reconsider the continuity of the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is jealousy normal in friendship?
Yes. Jealousy is common and normal in friendships and usually disappears on its own or through discussion. However, excessive jealousy and obsession can strain a relationship beyond a certain point.
How do you ignore a jealous person?
It is important not to take their actions personally. Keep doing what you’re doing, stay focused on your goals, don’t let negativity affect your confidence and self-esteem, and surround yourself with positive people.
Key learning points
- Jealousy is a toxic factor that can ruin any friendship.
- If you notice that your friend is openly jealous of you, address it by having a sincere conversation with him or her.
- If not, the consequences could affect both of you mentally and further deteriorate your friendship.